Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
I will fully admit
I don't know how to stretch my picture along the whole header...some pix do and some don't - what do I know?
May 30
Well - June 4th is my court date. It will be just around the corner. While I am kinda worried I also know that whatever happens - happens. It is outta my control. I only know that my angels, God and the Universe will be with me that day and however it turns out will be.
If you are not on FB - you will see that I am slowing continuing to grow up. For instance, I have been dealing with things I need to take care of and have not. And that is actually turning out good for me. As an example - my credit union had a deal for May on car loans so once I get my title, I am going to have them pay off my car and then I will pay them at 1/2 % less then my car loan. And I hate filling out that stuff. PLUS! I had almost 5k in medical bills and instead of me throwing 100 here and a 100 there (or 50 here and 50 there) I took out a loan so I could get them all paid off (minus trivial ones - I think there are 2 of them - less than a hundred dollars) and it is only one payment per month. For me - that is a huge relief.
Again - I hate paperwork though I am sure no one likes it. But I feel great when I take the time to deal with things that I would rather ignore. I feel relief.
Did I mention that I am doing Minds Interrupted? Taking 2 weekends to write my story living with a mental illness and then presenting at the History Theater downtown St Paul. Totally awesome experience coming up.
Russ the Handyman put knobs on all my cupboards and even put screws out on my patio so I can get some hanging plants. And he did this for free. We got into a tiff (omg we sound like a couple and no we are NOT) and then he said he wanted 75 dollars for the knobs. I said to him - you told me it was free and for the thousands of dollars I have sent your way that is the least you can do. So OMG - grown up - stood up for myself and didn't back down. And he hasn't asked for any money since then. WORD!
Anyway - I have also gotten into tiffs with other friends - usually the friends I am closest to (but hmmmm none of my Connecticut friends ever)....so it is what it is. I wonder what the difference is with my CT friends. Not once did I ever get into a tiff. Were they more easy going? Did we do so many different experiences? I know that I was sober out there for nearly 5 years and they supported my sobriety every step of the way by letting me hang with them every night as I struggled at the beginning. I don't know. Not that my family doesn't support me here - but for whatever reason I feel like more of a drag since everyone has their own crap going on.
I know I overthink everything and I don't know for sure if that is part of living with a mental illness or just part of me. For example - I obsess about the little gray notifications or whatever when I am on Facebook. I want a neat and clean page - none of those little numbers about who updated what, etc. I can find that out myself. I know I know....but I can't be the only one that gets annoyed like that. Although my annoyance may be a bit stronger because I actually get irritated by it. When I step out of my head - which I think of myself as looking down at me - I can see that is silly - I know it is silly - and yet my emotions are still there, still feeling irritated.
I have no clue. I don't know if it is part of my symptoms, or something I need to work on in therapy or what. All I know is that I continue to move forward and make progress in the growing up. I appreciate my age. I can finally start to see - like a twinkle of the stars - that I am getting more comfortable with Heidi and who I am. I am totally at the point where I say - love me or leave me. And when people leave me - it doesn't bother me too much. I know if it was someone very near and dear to my heart I would feel differently - but people that I know just need to accept me as I am. Andddd on the other hand - if I don't accept a person as they are - well then I also need to stop the relationship. I am saying this because on FB I posted that I don't want to judge the Jesus Freaks and yet I know I do because there are sooooo many other religions out there. And I got some hell from people. My point was - just open your mind to other religions. Christianity is not the only way. In fact, in my diversity training at my company - Christianity isn't even the worlds' predominate religion. It was Muslim if I remember right. Christianity is just the predominate religion in America. Perhaps other western cultures too - I just don't remember all the details.
What I do know is that my pastor at my church is extremely well read and has lots of historical facts that make people choose their own beliefs. The Bible was written hundreds of years later and who knows what is remembered correctly. In fact just last week at church I found out that there was a gospel left out of the Bible. Now who decided that? I always think of the ol telephone game. You can sit in a circle of 20 people and one person starts the sentence and by the time it gets to the end - it is totally an altered sentence.
So yeah - these are things I think about. I have known a long time ago that the Bible - while many people take it word for word - it WAS written wayyy after Jesus' time. And here's another thought. If God is Jesus' father - then who is Joseph? (That was brought up in church) And not to be answered, just a nugget to chew on. And that makes sense to me.
Anyway - enough about Christianity.
All I know is that when I went to the Buddhist ceremony - it was very cool and very peaceful. And I will admit that they feel their religion is the way to go - and I suspect all religions feel the same. What I do know is that most have a deity and a majority of them are about peace.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
If you are not on FB - you will see that I am slowing continuing to grow up. For instance, I have been dealing with things I need to take care of and have not. And that is actually turning out good for me. As an example - my credit union had a deal for May on car loans so once I get my title, I am going to have them pay off my car and then I will pay them at 1/2 % less then my car loan. And I hate filling out that stuff. PLUS! I had almost 5k in medical bills and instead of me throwing 100 here and a 100 there (or 50 here and 50 there) I took out a loan so I could get them all paid off (minus trivial ones - I think there are 2 of them - less than a hundred dollars) and it is only one payment per month. For me - that is a huge relief.
Again - I hate paperwork though I am sure no one likes it. But I feel great when I take the time to deal with things that I would rather ignore. I feel relief.
Did I mention that I am doing Minds Interrupted? Taking 2 weekends to write my story living with a mental illness and then presenting at the History Theater downtown St Paul. Totally awesome experience coming up.
Russ the Handyman put knobs on all my cupboards and even put screws out on my patio so I can get some hanging plants. And he did this for free. We got into a tiff (omg we sound like a couple and no we are NOT) and then he said he wanted 75 dollars for the knobs. I said to him - you told me it was free and for the thousands of dollars I have sent your way that is the least you can do. So OMG - grown up - stood up for myself and didn't back down. And he hasn't asked for any money since then. WORD!
Anyway - I have also gotten into tiffs with other friends - usually the friends I am closest to (but hmmmm none of my Connecticut friends ever)....so it is what it is. I wonder what the difference is with my CT friends. Not once did I ever get into a tiff. Were they more easy going? Did we do so many different experiences? I know that I was sober out there for nearly 5 years and they supported my sobriety every step of the way by letting me hang with them every night as I struggled at the beginning. I don't know. Not that my family doesn't support me here - but for whatever reason I feel like more of a drag since everyone has their own crap going on.
I know I overthink everything and I don't know for sure if that is part of living with a mental illness or just part of me. For example - I obsess about the little gray notifications or whatever when I am on Facebook. I want a neat and clean page - none of those little numbers about who updated what, etc. I can find that out myself. I know I know....but I can't be the only one that gets annoyed like that. Although my annoyance may be a bit stronger because I actually get irritated by it. When I step out of my head - which I think of myself as looking down at me - I can see that is silly - I know it is silly - and yet my emotions are still there, still feeling irritated.
I have no clue. I don't know if it is part of my symptoms, or something I need to work on in therapy or what. All I know is that I continue to move forward and make progress in the growing up. I appreciate my age. I can finally start to see - like a twinkle of the stars - that I am getting more comfortable with Heidi and who I am. I am totally at the point where I say - love me or leave me. And when people leave me - it doesn't bother me too much. I know if it was someone very near and dear to my heart I would feel differently - but people that I know just need to accept me as I am. Andddd on the other hand - if I don't accept a person as they are - well then I also need to stop the relationship. I am saying this because on FB I posted that I don't want to judge the Jesus Freaks and yet I know I do because there are sooooo many other religions out there. And I got some hell from people. My point was - just open your mind to other religions. Christianity is not the only way. In fact, in my diversity training at my company - Christianity isn't even the worlds' predominate religion. It was Muslim if I remember right. Christianity is just the predominate religion in America. Perhaps other western cultures too - I just don't remember all the details.
What I do know is that my pastor at my church is extremely well read and has lots of historical facts that make people choose their own beliefs. The Bible was written hundreds of years later and who knows what is remembered correctly. In fact just last week at church I found out that there was a gospel left out of the Bible. Now who decided that? I always think of the ol telephone game. You can sit in a circle of 20 people and one person starts the sentence and by the time it gets to the end - it is totally an altered sentence.
So yeah - these are things I think about. I have known a long time ago that the Bible - while many people take it word for word - it WAS written wayyy after Jesus' time. And here's another thought. If God is Jesus' father - then who is Joseph? (That was brought up in church) And not to be answered, just a nugget to chew on. And that makes sense to me.
Anyway - enough about Christianity.
All I know is that when I went to the Buddhist ceremony - it was very cool and very peaceful. And I will admit that they feel their religion is the way to go - and I suspect all religions feel the same. What I do know is that most have a deity and a majority of them are about peace.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
May 23
Hiya. Well life has been going pretty well. I just wish I could know that when I am in the depths of darkness. Last weekend was the first weekend in FOREVER in which I kept every commitment and did not let partying get in the way. Well as in I chose not to party and drink so I could attend my commitments. We had May birthday celebrations on Saturday at mom's and then a Welcome Home party for Travis at Julie's on Sunday. In fact, us siblings were the last to leave and we actually hung out for a bit...even I stuck around. And it felt really good to do that. I continue to make progress.
On my birthday Russ the Handyman took me to Axel's for lunch and I ordered the second most expensive thing...Steak Oscar. Love that. With Asparagus and Bernaise sauce and crab meat. Yum-O. Then I met my AA chicas for dinner at a new diner in Eagan (an actual mom and pop diner) - it is called Ze's Diner. 50's style decoration. I also treated myself to a pedicure that day. It was an awesome birth-day.
Today I got a really awesome kudos at work. For the most part people don't take the time to actually write out a kudos even tho they "kudo" you over the phone. Here is what it said and it was sent to my manager and I was cc'd on it.
"
On my birthday Russ the Handyman took me to Axel's for lunch and I ordered the second most expensive thing...Steak Oscar. Love that. With Asparagus and Bernaise sauce and crab meat. Yum-O. Then I met my AA chicas for dinner at a new diner in Eagan (an actual mom and pop diner) - it is called Ze's Diner. 50's style decoration. I also treated myself to a pedicure that day. It was an awesome birth-day.
Today I got a really awesome kudos at work. For the most part people don't take the time to actually write out a kudos even tho they "kudo" you over the phone. Here is what it said and it was sent to my manager and I was cc'd on it.
"
Hello Jeffery!
My name is Rema Hattar and I am the Assistant Manager over at a new branch in Rancho Cucamonga, CA. We opened our branch on 3/26/2012 and have had issues with our cash advance machine. Since we have been open we have NOT been able to get our cash advance machine up and running. I have had 7 technicians out, made 23 phone calls, 12+ hours designated to dealing with this issue, 5 open tickets and have not been able to get this issue resolved whatsoever! I finally spoke to a gentleman yesterday who was able to transfer me over to Heidi. Heidi was the first person who took ownership and actually tried to help me. She was able to spend time with me yesterday to get the issue resolved. She set everything up and all I had to do was call merchant support today and finish the process up. Heidi even took initiative to call me today just to see if I was able to get the issue resolved. I can officially say our cash advance machine is up and running and I owe all the thanks to Heidi. She was amazing, helped me from beginning to end and was the only person in 2 months who actually helped me. I wanted to send you this email because Heidi went over and above to help us out and for that I can NOT thank her ENOUGH!
Thank you for your time!! And Heidi- thank you again for everything! You were such a great help!! "
I did forward that on to my second line manager because if I don't toot my own horn it won't move up the chain - and then SHEEEE forwarded on to my third line manager who is about 4 lines down from the CEO. So that was very cool!
I am one of the presenters for this...
So I had Russ ride my motorcycle to a nearby park (since I can't drive it yet because of my rotator cuff surgery) and then I had him take pictures of me on Stella (my motorcycle). They turned out pretty good! I am really excited for the Minds Interrupted opportunity,
Anyway - so while I am still working toward a sober life (and not there yet) somehow I manage to have good things continue to come my way. Imagine if I were sober! Maybe that is why I am not and why I am scared.
Because maybe I will be President some day if I am sober! bwahahahhaaha
Well all I can do like anyone else is Keep on Keepin On!
Monday, May 14, 2012
Updates
Well I was supposed to have a court date tomorrow for my issues I created for myself - but that is now post-poned. I kinda wanted to get it over and at the same time I am happy that I can celebrate my birthday and not have any crap to deal with. Today my brother Jon and my sister in law Genevieve had their second child. Penelope is 3 and the new baby (which has yet to be names) is a boy weighing in at 11 lbs. He looks just like Jon when he was born. I was able to hold him today at the hospital and it was soooo fun.
Last week I submitted an email to a non-profit called Compassionate Touch Network. They are coming to MN in conjunction with NAMI to put on a writing workshop. Together they are producing a show at the History Theater called Minds Interrupted: Stories of Lives Affected by Mental Illness. I was chosen to participate. Yay! I will spend two weekends with writers to create a monologue about myself and then on Monday June 18 me and the 6 other participants will tell our story on stage. I am very excited about the opportunity.
Anyhoo - so a quick blip for now. Hugs to everyone.
Oh and so a week now without any therapy (talk therapy) and I feel such a relief. I think I have been working hard for too long without a break. And focusing just on AA - the fellowship and doing the AA stuff the way it is suggested - well - it is just working better for me. I can only keep trying in my journey. It may take a while to figure out which path will work - but I think I am finally on the correct path for now.
Last week I submitted an email to a non-profit called Compassionate Touch Network. They are coming to MN in conjunction with NAMI to put on a writing workshop. Together they are producing a show at the History Theater called Minds Interrupted: Stories of Lives Affected by Mental Illness. I was chosen to participate. Yay! I will spend two weekends with writers to create a monologue about myself and then on Monday June 18 me and the 6 other participants will tell our story on stage. I am very excited about the opportunity.
Anyhoo - so a quick blip for now. Hugs to everyone.
Oh and so a week now without any therapy (talk therapy) and I feel such a relief. I think I have been working hard for too long without a break. And focusing just on AA - the fellowship and doing the AA stuff the way it is suggested - well - it is just working better for me. I can only keep trying in my journey. It may take a while to figure out which path will work - but I think I am finally on the correct path for now.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Well I finally did it
I went to see my addiction counselor on Tuesday and both her and my regular therapist Lisa had talked about me. One thins is they feel I also live with Borderline Personality Disorder. Yeah I agree - http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/borderline-personality-disorder/DS00442
And both of them stressed or wanted me to go inpatient treatment. This past weekend I drank and felt very suicidal - about living like this - with my mental illnesses - sober or drinking.
Anyway = my addiction counselor wants me to go inpatient big time. She is also my DBT main therapist. I have been thinking for awhile that I need to back off from some therapies. I am just overloaded.
At the end of the session I told her well - I am not going inpatient. I am just making progress with AA - got a sponsor and I want to truly give that a chance. Because for a year and a half I have not fully embraced it. And now I am ready. And I don't have any time for inpatient.
I suppose most people say that = but I said = so I am there for 28 days and I don't drink = but then what? I can leave and go right back to it. Treatment is not going to make me stop if I don't want to. AA can do that.
And I also said - so what will I learn differently than what I already have learned about me. I am ahead of the game with some people in AA - I have been in therapy forever, I know why I drink. No one needs to tell me that.
Anyhoo - so I told my addiction counselor (and I have been contemplating this for awhile) that I am not going inpatient and if you and Lisa (my regular therapist) feel like you can't do anything for me - then I am done.
And I feel good about that. I have been focused on sooo much therapy - and I just need a break. Not saying I won't go back - but I need a break.
And Ginny - my addiction counselor and lead DBT person said - so you aren't coming back to the group on Friday. And I said no.
She said she has a lump in her throat. This is the deal - I HATE being backed into the corner and making a decision. It has taken me years to be okay with my mental illnesses and be willing to talk about it. It took me years to decide on Gastric Bypass Surgery (it was talked about with my doctor when I lived in Connecticut) - I am not a fast life changing decision maker. I have already made a lot of progress with my other addictions so let me work my alcohol addiction. I am addicted to almost everything. I think I said that in a previous post.
Anyway - I feel relief from not having these commitments so I can do what I need to do.
Always a struggle. I had a hard weekend and went to the ER for suicide - and then mom picked me up and I stayed with her. And mom may not get what I feel - but she has become a big support system that I didn't use very much. And there are so many others - especially my immediate family - that I realize just love me as I am. OMG I am going to get all teary-eyed. I am so happy they are there for me. Not everyone is that lucky.
And both of them stressed or wanted me to go inpatient treatment. This past weekend I drank and felt very suicidal - about living like this - with my mental illnesses - sober or drinking.
Anyway = my addiction counselor wants me to go inpatient big time. She is also my DBT main therapist. I have been thinking for awhile that I need to back off from some therapies. I am just overloaded.
At the end of the session I told her well - I am not going inpatient. I am just making progress with AA - got a sponsor and I want to truly give that a chance. Because for a year and a half I have not fully embraced it. And now I am ready. And I don't have any time for inpatient.
I suppose most people say that = but I said = so I am there for 28 days and I don't drink = but then what? I can leave and go right back to it. Treatment is not going to make me stop if I don't want to. AA can do that.
And I also said - so what will I learn differently than what I already have learned about me. I am ahead of the game with some people in AA - I have been in therapy forever, I know why I drink. No one needs to tell me that.
Anyhoo - so I told my addiction counselor (and I have been contemplating this for awhile) that I am not going inpatient and if you and Lisa (my regular therapist) feel like you can't do anything for me - then I am done.
And I feel good about that. I have been focused on sooo much therapy - and I just need a break. Not saying I won't go back - but I need a break.
And Ginny - my addiction counselor and lead DBT person said - so you aren't coming back to the group on Friday. And I said no.
She said she has a lump in her throat. This is the deal - I HATE being backed into the corner and making a decision. It has taken me years to be okay with my mental illnesses and be willing to talk about it. It took me years to decide on Gastric Bypass Surgery (it was talked about with my doctor when I lived in Connecticut) - I am not a fast life changing decision maker. I have already made a lot of progress with my other addictions so let me work my alcohol addiction. I am addicted to almost everything. I think I said that in a previous post.
Anyway - I feel relief from not having these commitments so I can do what I need to do.
Always a struggle. I had a hard weekend and went to the ER for suicide - and then mom picked me up and I stayed with her. And mom may not get what I feel - but she has become a big support system that I didn't use very much. And there are so many others - especially my immediate family - that I realize just love me as I am. OMG I am going to get all teary-eyed. I am so happy they are there for me. Not everyone is that lucky.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
I think I am going to have to put the Air on! HOT HOT HOT
Not complaining tho. So yes - I finally did get a sponsor for AA. And she has gone through DBT just like I am ! So that is cool. I am really really ready to commit to sobriety finally and I need a support system. I called dad and Ellie the other night - and from one alcoholic to another - it just makes so much sense. Just as one with a mental illness to another. I need this support. When I quit drinking for 5 years beginning in CT that is how I did it - friends supporting me and giving me a sober place to hang out in....so why would this be any different? This is one of the many realizations I am coming across lately with Lisa and Ginny. I feel relief that I am finally getting there. As they say in AA - progress not perfection. And I am making progress.
Love you - Heidi
Love you - Heidi
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
As I looked
at this picture of Russ and I at the NAMI Gala - I realized I am pretty damn beautiful - so screw any man that doesn't realize that!
So yeah
My friend Sue from NAMI (Exec Director of NAMI) = I had to break down and tell her what was happening because I wanted to get out of the Mental Health Advisory Council. And she said no worries - most people with bipolar disorder have DUIs. Not saying that is appropriate. Sometimes I like that validation that it is okay to be fucked up to deal with life. I am working on improving that....but it ain't easy. I have lived like this for 25 years. Just not a spin of the wheel to change life. Again - I am working on it. I see more and more improvement. I just want to get over it. I don't know what will happen other than I continue to work on it and I pray every night to God, my angels, the Universe and the Great Spirit to life the disease of addiction from me. I am just sooo tired
Miss Stella! I know I am late in posting anything~
I don't know if anyone else is reading this but this is how I keep up with my dear friend Stella in CT - not to be confused with my motorcycle named Stella.
So May 15 is my court date for license revocation. My birthday. I am hoping my birthday mojo will be extra strong with me that day. The DMV and Eagan PD have a couple mistakes in the whole process so I am hoping that will be in my favor. I have learned finally and I am working toward sobriety. It is getting better and better. Still working on it - called my dad and Ellie last night - my dad is a recovering alcoholic...I should probably call him more for help when I want to drink. He understands and gets it. Last night when I talked with them...it was comforting because they just supported me by saying my sobriety will come when I am ready. I wish I could just blink and cross my arms and say I am ready and it would be done. What I can say is that I continue to make progress - I am having MUCH longer times of sobriety than I have in a very long time.
My addiction counselor Ginny has been very helpful in understanding my addictions and why I do what I do. In fact I called her last night for support and she answered her phone - yay. There are times when reaching out for help - it really works. I just need to do it more often.
I am back to work on Tues and Wed. Started last week at 4 hours. Now the next 2 weeks are Tues and Wed for 6 hours, then the next 2 weeks 8 hours. I might have to split the days up tho because my arm is absolutely killing me right now.
Russ and I went to the NAMI Gala last weekend and had a blast. It was 50s themed and we both dressed up. He even donated 50 bucks to NAMI (and became a member last winter) - it is so awesome that one of my friends out here that I love (even though he can piss me off at times- but that is a man right?) is so supportive of my NAMI mission.
My friend Chanda was in town last weekend also. She owns a condo here but is living in Nashville temporarily for work. She is one of my best female friends in Minnesota. I am so hoping she can get back here soon. We have a great time - we don't have to drink - she is respectful of my trying - and she is very non-judgemental. Not that others aren't,,,but she is First American or in layman terms, Native American. I love learning about their beliefs and that is in my blood also. Their beliefs are super cool. We went to the Minneapolis Institute of Arts to see Art in Bloom (where flower artisists create an arrangement according to the picture it is sitting by) - I love Art in Bloom. We saw a couple movies and just hung out. I told Russ about Art in Bloom..his daughter Madeline was in town and I said you really should take her - she will love it. And he did...and she DID love it and so did Russ. In fact, Madeline wants to enter an arrangement next year. So that is cool - I haven't ever met her but she seems like a pretty awesome woman.
Soooo what else. Well my arm is killing me from time to time and so is the weather! It is 80 degrees today and I want to ride my motorcycle sooooo bad. My reprieve at the moment will be going to Lancaster to take my mind off my motorcycle. I see it every day as I walk past it - and I am sad that I don't get to ride it yet. :-(
So yeah - not sure if I will post before May 15 to let y'all know the outcome....I can't make promises but I will try!
Love all of you!
Heidi
So May 15 is my court date for license revocation. My birthday. I am hoping my birthday mojo will be extra strong with me that day. The DMV and Eagan PD have a couple mistakes in the whole process so I am hoping that will be in my favor. I have learned finally and I am working toward sobriety. It is getting better and better. Still working on it - called my dad and Ellie last night - my dad is a recovering alcoholic...I should probably call him more for help when I want to drink. He understands and gets it. Last night when I talked with them...it was comforting because they just supported me by saying my sobriety will come when I am ready. I wish I could just blink and cross my arms and say I am ready and it would be done. What I can say is that I continue to make progress - I am having MUCH longer times of sobriety than I have in a very long time.
My addiction counselor Ginny has been very helpful in understanding my addictions and why I do what I do. In fact I called her last night for support and she answered her phone - yay. There are times when reaching out for help - it really works. I just need to do it more often.
I am back to work on Tues and Wed. Started last week at 4 hours. Now the next 2 weeks are Tues and Wed for 6 hours, then the next 2 weeks 8 hours. I might have to split the days up tho because my arm is absolutely killing me right now.
Russ and I went to the NAMI Gala last weekend and had a blast. It was 50s themed and we both dressed up. He even donated 50 bucks to NAMI (and became a member last winter) - it is so awesome that one of my friends out here that I love (even though he can piss me off at times- but that is a man right?) is so supportive of my NAMI mission.
My friend Chanda was in town last weekend also. She owns a condo here but is living in Nashville temporarily for work. She is one of my best female friends in Minnesota. I am so hoping she can get back here soon. We have a great time - we don't have to drink - she is respectful of my trying - and she is very non-judgemental. Not that others aren't,,,but she is First American or in layman terms, Native American. I love learning about their beliefs and that is in my blood also. Their beliefs are super cool. We went to the Minneapolis Institute of Arts to see Art in Bloom (where flower artisists create an arrangement according to the picture it is sitting by) - I love Art in Bloom. We saw a couple movies and just hung out. I told Russ about Art in Bloom..his daughter Madeline was in town and I said you really should take her - she will love it. And he did...and she DID love it and so did Russ. In fact, Madeline wants to enter an arrangement next year. So that is cool - I haven't ever met her but she seems like a pretty awesome woman.
Soooo what else. Well my arm is killing me from time to time and so is the weather! It is 80 degrees today and I want to ride my motorcycle sooooo bad. My reprieve at the moment will be going to Lancaster to take my mind off my motorcycle. I see it every day as I walk past it - and I am sad that I don't get to ride it yet. :-(
So yeah - not sure if I will post before May 15 to let y'all know the outcome....I can't make promises but I will try!
Love all of you!
Heidi
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